Talking about Virginia Tech

I wasn't going to post about this, but I also feel like I can't not mention Virginia Tech. A person cannot read about this day after day and not say something. I can't just post about crayon drawings and taking walks outside and pretend that people did not die in a terrible, terrible way.

Yesterday, on my way to pick Isaiah up from school, I listened to NPR's afternoon coverage and interviews of survivors. Listening to a young man who sat in the room not getting shot...I broke down. I sat in the pick up line at my son's school and cried. I cannot imagine the pain, the heart tearing pain. I cannot imagine it. I cannot. imagine. the pain.

I think most of us cannot imagine pain and suffering like this.

Living in this country, as much as we struggle with the rights and wrongs that happen here, living in this country- on this ground- affords us the absolute blessing of being completely shocked when atrocities of this nature happen here. We can be speechless when it happens here, we can ask why?? how?? how can this happen to us, to our friends, our loved ones, people we know, or have at least heard of? When it happens to people who wear the same clothes as us, people who speak the same language, who watch the same television shows, people like us, we don't know how to process it.

When it happens here, we want change. We demand answers. We call out why? Why us? Why here?

I cried in my car yesterday.

I cried as I waited for my own son to emerge from his school.

I cried for all of those families, all of those students. I cried for those people who are experiencing the pain and suffering that no one should face.

I cried also, for the people of this world who have to face this day after day after day.

I cried because I was aware that this suffering, so new to us, is the reality of everyday living for people all over the world.

I cried for the people who everyday risk their lives going to work, going to school, getting onto buses, climbing into seats that might be shared with the person who is going kill them and the people around them. maybe that day, maybe the next, or maybe never.

I cried for the mothers who know what it is like to lose their children in a senseless restaurant explosion. The sister who lost her mother, but doesn't even know how or where or when. I cry for the father who lost his child, but still leaves his home every morning fully knowing it could happen again, today. He could lose his other son, but sends him alone to school anyway, because you have to keep living, to keep going.

I cried for the people who live in the nations at war, whose reality is Virginia Tech day after day.

The people who suffer such pain every single day of their lives.

I cried for the people who live in poor nations, who are stolen and killed because of their race, or their religion, the people who every single day rise to face the fear again, and go and live. to live.

I cried for the children who have experienced a life like this since the day they were born, and the children who face it for the first time ever when they go off to college to make a better life.

My thoughts, blessings, and prayers to everyone who has been touched by this pain. I wish I could hold your hands and listen as you recount the pain. I wish I could understand, and help you understand. I am so sorry.