In honor of Labor Day, I wanted to write about the Mother blessing we had for my friend Kelly at our Unitarian Universalist Fellowship a week or so ago. It was a truly beautiful evening, one in which I believe honored the upcoming birth, the mother, and the interconnectedness of the sisterhood of women, and of all humanity
We called this ceremony a “Circle of Blessing” and it served as our version of a Mother Blessing, a Blessingway, or a baby shower. The main idea of the evening was to spend some time reflecting on the upcoming birth, and honoring the mother of the soon to be born child, while simultaneously de-emphasizing the materialistic aspect of mainstream baby showers. The group of women that I planned this with spent a fair amount of time searching for ideas, and contemplating how best to achieve our goals. I had been carrying around a few ideas in my head, and so had the mother. The rest we found online or in books. The evening was, in the end, beautiful and wonderful, and we wanted to add our ideas to the internet search base here, so that others can benefit from it as well.
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The invitation read as follows:
to share together in a
“Circle of Blessing”
Kelly invites the women of the Mt. Vernon UU Fellowship to join her in blessing the arrival of her new baby, and we hope to bless her with our love and support as she anticipates the arrival of her second child.
Our “Circle of Blessing” for Kelly will incorporate ideas from a traditional Navajo Blessingway, which is a ceremony that celebrates and nourishes the woman spirit as she welcomes a new baby into our world.
Kelly feels as if she and Shawn are well prepared for their new arrival and are in no need of gifts for this event. You are invited to bring a flower to place in a centerpiece vase for Kelly, and/or another item from nature to honor Kelly and the beauty of childbirth.
To prepare for the evening a group of us planned an order of service, conferred with Kelly for almost every detail, as we wanted to respect her wishes above all, selected music, and planned a general idea for a menu. We wanted the foods that we served to be as nourishing as possible. We also purchased small candles to be used during the ceremony.
We arrived at the fellowship about half an hour early to arrange the seating into a small circle around the chalice table, and set the food up in the dining area.
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The long version of the order of service went as follows:
© Welcome to the Circle: We are here to give Kelly our blessings as she prepares to give birth. We are here to uplift her, and encourage her in this path. We are here to hold her in a positive light, and to give her our strength. Let us surround her here in a loving embrace, focused on the health and well being of her and her baby. Let us share only stories of love and warmth, and of strength and perseverance. Let her feel blessed, calm, and encouraged when she leaves here tonight.
©
o “We are Sisters” by Co. Midwives Association c/o birthbeads.com
(to be read with each member of the circle alternating lines)
We are sisters on a journey,
Shining in the sun,
Shining through the darkest night.
The healing has begun, begun…
The healing has begun
We are sisters on a journey,
Singing now as one.
Remembering the Ancient Ones
The women and the wisdom…
The women and the wisdom.
o “In this Circle” from birthbeads.com, (to be read as a responsive reading)
In this circle No Fear
In this circle No Fear
In this circle Deep Peace
In this circle Deep Peace
In this circle Great Happiness
In this circle Great Happiness
In this circle Safety
In this circle Safety
© Honoring our Maternal Lineage: Please introduce yourself to the circle, speaking your name as the daughter of ___, who is the daughter of ___, and go back as far as you can. For example, “I am Tish, the daughter of Sara, who is the daughter of Laura, who is the daughter of …..” How far back can we remember the names of our mothers?
© Offerings and Gifts: If anyone has anything you would like to give to Kelly, you may present it to her now. [some of the gifts and offerings that were brought included small symbols of fertility, beads, crystals, stones, flowers from family gardens, pressed leaves, and a handmade necklace]
© Candle Lighting: Let our circle of women represent the circle of life. Pass the candles and cards around the circle until everyone has one, and continue passing the cards until they have all been taken. Kelly will light the chalice, and then pass the lighter to the right. When you receive the lighter, read your cards and light the candle. Place your candle near the chalice, and pass the lighter to the right. At the end of the night, take a candle home with you and relight it when you hear that Kelly has either gone into labor or given birth. Let the memory of tonight light this baby’s way into our world with love.
© Prayer Stick: As this stick passes around the circle, add your own piece of embroidery floss, along with your positive energy and blessings for Kelly and her baby. Let this prayer stick be a symbol of our love and support for Kelly as she brings life to this baby.
©
Blessed and Merciful Spirit,
Thank you for the gift of this life.
Thank you for the life that grows inside of our friend.
Thank you for the love that is shaping and forming this child into divine perfection.
Thank you for shaping this child’s mind.
Thank you for shaping this child’s bones.
Thank you for shaping this child’s destiny
And for writing it upon this child’s heart.
Thank you for filling this child’s entire being with your loving light.
Thank you for knowing and calling this child’s name even as she is being formed.
Thank you for showing us how to love this child even before she is born.
Thank you for giving this mother a healthy appetite for those foods that are
life giving and life sustaining while this child grows inside of her.
Thank you for giving this mother peaceful rest while her child grows inside of her.
Thank you for keeping this mother from harm and danger while this child grows inside of her. Thank you for this mother’s peace of mind and calming thoughts
while this child grows inside of her.
Right now, let us give to you all of our concerns for the health, strength, and well being for this precious life growing inside of our friend and loved one.
Right now, we call forth grace , mercy, and loving light to fill this mother’s being
and sustain the life growing inside of her.
Prepare this mother and child for their birth. Prepare their minds. Prepare their bodies.
Bless this mother and this child that their birth will happen easily and effortlessly,
And under the grace of peace.
May this prayer be lifted, heard, and accepted into the highest realms of all that is good. For this we are grateful, and so it is.
© Extinguish Candle Flames
© Henna Belly Painting & Foot Massages: As Kelly gets her belly painted with henna, let us use this time for relaxing, sharing food and music, and telling positive and loving stories about life, womanhood, mothering, birth, or babies. Nina will provide foot massages during this time as well. Let’s not forget to make sure the mother has everything she needs as sits for her belly painting! [the woman who painted Kelly's belly also brought mandalas for the rest of us to color as well, which was a wonderful addition to the order!] Here is the link to some mandalas for you to use.}
© Sign the Blessing Book with a blessing, prayer, hope or wish for Kelly.
© Return to the Circle: Let us return to the circle once more before leaving.
© Wrist Binding: We will each wrap a piece of cord around our wrists, to connect us in spirit. If you wish, you can keep it on your wrist until you hear of the arrival of the new baby.
©
By the earth that is her body,
By the air that is her breath,
By the fire that is her bright spirit, and
By the water of her living womb…
May the circle be open, but unbroken
May the peace of the goddess be ever in your heart.
Merry meet…and Merry part…and Merry meet again.
© Extinguish the Chalice Flame & Remind People to Take Their Candles Home
I hope that someone can use some of the ideas that were presented here! The only regret we had was perhaps not scheduling more time, as the belly painting did take a long time!
1 comment:
Wow that is wonderful. You obviously spent so much time and energy and love on that.
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