Helping Children Negotiate Their Difficulties

When I was an Early Childhood Ed. student, I learned a lot about working with young children, as one would expect or hope after dropping thousands of dollars for a piece of paper that says I might actually know something.

Seven years later, it is evident to me now what the most useful and relevant of those concepts were, all of which can really be summed up into two concepts. Everything else is just elaboration on a point.

The most basic of these concepts is simple: value the process over the product. It does not matter so much what the visible end product of any activity is, it is what went into the process of actually executing that activity. I find the concept of valuing the process true for all things, for all children, and for myself.

Once you can fully embrace the concept of process over product, it is easy to see how spending extra time helping children through the process of solving problems helps them in profound ways.

Specifically, I learned that using a process of negotiation with children when they were experiencing difficulties amongst each other to be most helpful to them, and to the overall health of the classroom. I was lucky enough to spend a large chunk of my time at the school's child development labs where this process was strictly adhered to at the time, and the process of learning the negotiation techniques was valued for the teachers as well. Hands on experience and practice was the only way I could get these concepts down. There was even a wonderful step by step poster up in the room that I could refer to at anytime if I needed it. Unfortunately, I have never been able to find a copy of that poster, though I have longed for it many times.

How is this relevant to my non teaching life? The older my youngest child gets, the more I realize how out of practice I am at helping him negotiate his way through social dynamics. He spends a lot of time at home (or out even) with just us. He doesn't have too many opportunities to share resources or experience conflict. While I think it's good that he has had this break from the stresses of group work, I am looking forward to making sure he is getting more opportunities to share space with other children. Reviewing and practicing the process is good for me as well, as I try and wade through my adult problems and concerns.

I pulled up these two handouts from my college days last week and have been re-reading them. They have been my most used and mosted studied resources, bringing me back to read over and over again. I am hoping that my minor copyright violation in posting them for you is overlooked by my posting a link to a book written in part by my favorite college professor, Dr. Sara Starbuck. Dr. Starbuck was the teacher who taught me the most about this process, in addition to simply taking me under her wings in so many ways.

If you are interested in integrating gardening ideas across a total early childhood curriculum, this book has many wonderful ideas in it. Check out Hollyhocks and Honeybees: Garden Projects for Young Children by Sara Starbuck, Marla Olthof, Karen Midden here.

Click on the Following Images to Enlarge and Read:

Let me know what you think about these handouts, or how you integrate some of these (or other) process oriented concepts into your daily lives.