And just what direction am I moving in anyway?

A few years back my husband shared a quotation with me about poems.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

Paul Valery, French critic & poet (1871 - 1945)

This thought crosses my mind often as I reach the point of personal abandonment in my own art.

I never feel as if I have finished something,

only that I must move on.

I think it is fitting that it is this day, the first day of October that I look at this painting and feel done. It isn't my most detailed painting to date, but is my largest at about 4 by 5 feet long. It isn't my favorite painting, or my best work, but I do feel as if it marks a turning point for me artistically, a sign that I am moving on- and forward in my personal art- and in my life in general.

It is also this day, this first day of October that I feel ready to move on and embrace the other areas of my life. I am ready to seek out a new, and a well defined, direction in how I spend my days.

The gardening season, though never over, is winding up, and the turning inward is about to begin. As of late, I find more comfort in books and in other intellectual pursuits. I find excitement in involving myself in fellowship life and in the education of my children, and of the children of others. I feel a renewed sense of dedication and interest in matters of human rights and working for social justice. I feel peace in listening to the little one behind me jabbering on about his marbles and blocks and the other clues I get about the inner workings of his mind.

I have felt for the last few weeks a little disoriented about this blog and the direction it was taking. I have felt the concerns about sharing so much of myself in such a public way resurface; I have wondered if this is a good use of my time. I asked myself why I write here and if I should continue writing and sharing, even in the times I am not sure I have anything more than a photograph of flower or a tree to share.

I think the answer is yes, but as the seasons change, so will the focus of my posts change again. I am hoping, but not promising myself, to begin again writing on the subjects that matter to me. I want to share the educational ideas I am developing. I want to share personal stories of trying to live a life that is both spiritually and physically fit and active. I want to talk about social justice, and the work I and others are doing to make the world a better place.

More than anything, I want again to use this blog to challenge and inspire myself and anyone who cares to read what I have to say to keep working, keep thinking and keep changing. Wish me luck on this journey and on fulfilling my goals,

and on not abandoning anything too soon. (That's the trick I think!)

Blessed be and happy October!