Learning the Language of Alzheimer's

Today, I take my mother in law to vote.

She knows who she wants to vote for, for president anyway, although she has to be reminded again (and sometimes still again) what election this is, and if today is the day we vote for president.

Fortunately, her political preference has stayed pretty much even for most of her life, so there is no guilt in taking her, no chance of her voting against her will. It will be a challenge to maneuver the system with her, but in the end she will vote as she always has. That is what is important to her, and that is what is important to us.

My mother in law lives in our home, and has for over four years now.

I believe it was the last presidential election that landed her in the hospital, before we really knew about the Alzheimer's, although we suspected it. At the time, we didn't know she had forgotten to eat lunch, and I took her on a big day out, for fun. By the end of the day she had collapsed in a pharmacy and we found out a whole lot of things about the state of her health in the week to come.

We like to blame George Bush for all of it too.
After all, he won the election.

So, anyway, forgive me if I ramble. Somehow I thought I could cram this in in the 15 minutes before it is time to rush the boy off to school, turn around come home get my mother in law to go vote, and then off to the other stops on today's to do list.

The point of this post? The Language of Alzheimer's.

We are becoming painfully aware that a lot of things are going to need change around here, and change soon. The least of those changes involves getting a real education about Alzheimer's disease. We need to know what we can expect in the coming months and years, and how to deal with it.

Above all, we need a new language. We need to learn just how to respond, when to humor her, and when to correct her. What is important to convey and what can we let go of? How much do we talk to her about all of this now, while she is still pretty much with us? What are the words we use to convey compassion, even when what we feel is profound annoyance and exhaustion.

We are in the fortunate position of picking up on this early, and of having the means to care for her. We love her passionately, we just need to learn how to love her more compassionately.

The good thing is, I know we are not alone in this. Many, many people around the world are dealing with this right now, today. I am sure countless people are even dealing with the same election day conundrum that we face today.

I suppose we ought to start with a good book, which is why I come here, to my blog. I bet some one out there has a good suggestion for a good book to help us traverse this path.

So, I must wrap this ramble up. I am off in a rush to start the day, which by rights ought to be a good one.

Blessed be!