So, which is it?

Last week someone asked me if my toddler was my GRANDSON.

Yes, they were dead serious.

This weekend, a 4th grade girl told me I looked just like the last winner from America's top model.

I have never seen that show, but I think that was a compliment....right?

Can you be a U.S. citizen?

From the New York Times this morning:

Ten Questions From the Redesigned Naturalization Test

and the Answers here.

Can I get a do-over?

This morning sucked. I want to re-wake up and just start all over.

It felt like a baaaaad Monday morning, except that it is Thursday. That should make for a short feeling week at least.

Tomorrow my 10 year old goes to his first party that is scheduled to last until 11.

Doesn't that seem late for ten year olds? This party is also a sleep over, but we have stuff to do Saturday morning, and then ANOTHER party Saturday night, so he isn't sleeping over.

Good thing he is not staying over because apparently they will be watching rated R movies, not sure which one.

So, am I just a giant prude or what?

The Mile Project: Phase Two

I hate, really hate, to admit it, but even though I am still not at my initial goal of a ten minute mile, it is time to move on from The Mile Project. I am going to have to add a few minutes to my workout, and more intensity, but I still have those same time constraints to work around.

I had really hoped to see more physical results from the mile project at the end of three months, and while yes- my endurance is up, my heart and lungs can handle more, and my time was improving almost every day, it isn't enough to see the changes I was hoping to see. I haven't lost a pound, and my clothes don't fit better.

In fact, the opposite has happened.

I didn't expect to see any radical changes in my appearance with a mile run, but I didn't expect to gain weight, and fat. It is fat- not muscle. I have outgrown my "skinny" jeans completely, and my "loose" jeans were uncomfortably tight all last Saturday night (as I consumed an entire days worth of calories in the form of alcoholic beverages at the hotel bar with my ladies).

After coming off of a five day exercise break and food feasting orgy fest, I have a new plan.

The Mile Project, Phase Two:

Every other morning:

1. Wake up 6:30 a.m.
2. Walk dogs 1/4 mile
3. Run one mile at an incline of 1 on treadmill
   
4. Run 1/4 mile at lower speed and no incline
5. Walk 1/4 mile at even lower speed, raise incline to 10.
6. Walk for one minute at lower speed, no incline
7. Do 4 sets of modified push ups, stretching legs in between sets.
8. (alternative outdoor plan: run 1.25 miles, walk 1/4 mile)
   
9. Shower

I can still accomplish this work out by 8:00 a.m., Adam's leave time for work. I just have to make sure I spring out of bed at 6:30.

I am pretty proud of myself for working so hard at The Mile Project.

I may not SEE the results I would like to see, but no doubt what I have done over the last three months has paved the way towards a longer, more fit lifestyle.

Who knows what I will be doing three months from now for The Mile Project, Phase Three?

Home From Denver

I love, freaking love, Denver. I love Denver. I love my friends in Denver, and I love the food in Denver. I ate better over the last few days than I have in a long time.

Thank you to Maura and Stephanie for being such wonderful women and personal tour guides.

Being in a new town, a town that was so easy to traverse, with so many wonderful choices for things to do was so wonderfully light hearted. It just lifted my spirits to the skies.

Even our little man, the two year old, who had to travel by car to the car rental return spot, by bus to the airport, by train to the the appropriate gate, by airplane to Dallas, by foot to the connecting gate, by airplane to St. Louis, by bus to the parking lot, and two more hours by car to home, repeated for about an hour or so on the last stretch, "No house, No House. HOTEL! No House, No House. HOTEL!"

Me too baby, me too.

Okay, well it is kind of nice to be home.

Two for Tuesday

Our little man is officially 2 today.
We couldn't be any more proud of him.

This morning, hard at work:

And last Saturday, at his party:

He means so much. so much.


Oh, and P.S.
What is the appropriate ettiquette for returning library books that have been covered in magic marker?

And one last Desi moment:

mom: "Desi, what will we do at school today?"
Desi: "HIT!" (said with a giant smile and a healthy dose of enthusiasm)

ahhh. the joys.

(and you can read our birth story here.)

Emotional Intelligence & Social/Emotional Learning Standards

I found out this week that Illinois is the first, and maybe only,state to create learning standards for Social and Emotional Goals. These standards are right along side with the math, English, and other academic standards that schools are required to teach.

I think it is a very good thing that the academic world is beginning to fully recognize the importance of social and emotional skills, and its impact on academics.

The Illinois Learning Standards can be seen at this link. The Standards include the basic goals, and benchmarks for specific age groups.


I wish I had more energy to devote to writing about this topic, because I find the concept quite intriguing.

In addition to the official standards, the organization CASEL (Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning) has contributed considerable research into the topic, and how to teach social and emotional skills to children.

CASEL describes the standards with
Five SEL Competencies:

Self Awareness

• Identifying emotions
• Accurate self-perceptions
• recognizing strengths
• sense of self confidence
• self efficacy

Social Awareness

• Perspective taking
• Empathy
• Appreciating Diversity
• Respect for others

Self Management

• Impulse control
• Stress management
• Self discipline
• Self motivation
• Goal Setting
• Organizational Skills

Relationship Skills

• Communication
• Social Engagement
• Building relationships
• Working cooperatively
• Resolving conflicts
• Helping/seeking help

Responsible Decision Making

• Problem identification
• Situation analysis
• Problem solving
• Evaluation
• Reflection
• Ethical responsibility

I think it is wonderful to think of these learning standards as they apply to our kids, but the more difficult part of it is to think of these learning standards as they apply to ourselves. I imagine that will be the biggest challenge in implementing these standards in the schools as well. I would think that in order to create an environment in which SEL is supported and taught, teachers, administrators, and even the bus drivers and cafeteria workers will have had to put some thought into their own levels of emotional intelligence.

For more reading on the topic, I have seen the book Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ by Daniel Goleman recommended, and he also has a website and blog.

If you have time to answer 106 questions, this handy little tool will tell you a magic number to describe your emotional intelligence. I'll tell you right now I scored slightly below average for my emotional IQ, and was offered an opportunity to purchase a comprehensive report about my score.

Whether you took the quiz or not, where are your strengths and weaknesses on the Five SEL Competencies?

So much to say, so little time

I tell myself over and over again that I am going to start really doing something with this blog. That I am going to sit down and write about this or that, and take the time to do so in a well written, professional manner.

So much for that!

I pull it off once in awhile, but mostly, who has the time to blog seriously for no pay?

Well, I am sure lots of people do. And really, I would have the time if I tried hard enough. I am a firm believer that all we really have is time, we just have to make the commitment to do what it is we want to do.

It is just right now, I am committing my time to other deeds.

But, I have been wanting to write that glowing recommendation for my extremely talented husband's second novel, Kingston Fugue. I wish I had the words to really describe this book to you all in a way that would really make you understand what a work of art this book is. It is the story, no, the poem, of a man who suddenly abandons his life, his children, and then years later comes back to understand what happened, to help his children understand what happened.

It is 152 pages of a poetic dream sequence, that reaches the heart of a man's life and struggle as only a dream can explain to us.

I suppose that sounds sort of strange, and to be honest, the first night I read the book, I stopped reading a little confused. It left me somewhat bewildered and trying to make sense of what was happening. I slept for a few hours and then woke up to get a drink of water. Standing there, I began to remember the book, as if it were a dream I was remembering, and it was only then that I began to understand the essence of the book. I could go on all night, but I highly recommend checking out this book, which can be ordered directly from this website (FREE SHIPPING IN U.S.) (or on amazon.com), as well as Adam's first book, Xamon Song.

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In other news, my BABY is having his 2nd birthday party tomorrow. He wants pink and blue cake, and balloons. White balloons. Pink Balloons. Purple Balloons. Orange Balloons. Blue Balloons. Do you think someone has been learning his colors?

This is hard for me to believe. He is so damn sweet, and growing up so damn fast.

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We leave for Denver next Thursday. I have no plans for what to do while we are there, but my lovely dear Maura, the boys want to go to the zoo on Friday. Doable? I also would like to drive out of the city into the mountains, but I am scared. There, I admitted it.

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Speaking of Maura, did you know she recently won the mother of the year award? It is true. She won it because she deserves it. She is one of the most kick ass parents I have ever known, and I count myself so very lucky to be her friend. I also think of her every single day, and if I am ever feeling down, I ask myself, what would Maura do?

(WWMD?) I mean, come on, she isn't perfect, but she is pretty damn close!

And when all else fails, Maura would drink a glass of wine. Just like I am doing now. Cheers!

(psst: Maura: Me+You+High Heeled Shoes and Blue Jeans+Denver= FUCK YEAH)

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Has anybody noticed how kick ass I am doing on my running times?

I took TWO days off this week because of a conference I attended on Social and Emotional Learning Standards (another topic I would really like to address seriously in a blog entry but tonight- wine, art and books are making my fingers type very fast; I am anxious to get to them.) I am doing good on my time despite that, but I need some good "Keep it up" thoughts my way with this four day Denver trip coming up. Things fall apart you know, so yeah- push me up! please! I need it.

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Okay, It is 9 o'clock. I have a glass of wine to drink and a book to read, and a birthday party to plan. Ciao! Is that how you spell Ciao? Does anyone actually say Ciao anymore?

We are here, just busy...but happy

The fall weather arrived this week, so I am likely to be outdoors a fair amount.

Not much to say, except that I ran outside this morning in the crisp fall air and it was WONDERFUL. I now have a great band to run to, with my new ipod shuffle, and only my old school Springfield cronies will get the nostalgia I am feeling.

They were the very first band I ever saw live with no parents in sight.

I dug out some of my old CDs and am thoroughly enjoying the flashbacks. Check out the N.I.L.8 myspace page here.

Creating Space for Kindred Community

I have lived in this area for 5 years. Friends have been both easy and hard to come by. Sometimes it seems more of a priority for me to get out and enjoy the company of others, and other times I tend more towards relishing time alone during the week and family time on the weekend (which usually involves leaving town).

Early on in my move here, I chummed up with a few moms from the local grade school, and we spent many a morning visiting and watching the kids play. It was nice to see them on the morning walk to school, and after school trips to the park were a good time. Slowly though, those friendships went by the wayside because they were based on only one thing: children.

When the only thing you really have in common with another person is a need to socialize with children of similar of ages, the adults tend to get left out of the friendship. These are all nice enough women, and I still enjoy their smiles and waves, but they never crossed that bridge of meaningful friendship that is based on a genuine interest in and respect for the other's personality and interests.

Getting involved with the UU church has been a wonderful experience for me in regards to creating friendship. The Fellowship is the one place in town where I do feel as if there is genuine respect for my thoughts and feelings, and occasional interest in hearing about them as well. It is also a place where I feel like I can ask questions of others, and learn from them, where I can share of myself, and ask others to share of themselves.

This week though, I have stepped out onto another branch of community. I signed up for a ceramics class at our local creative arts center. After being here for over 5 years, I only just now found out that we housed this wonderful facility. We have visited the larger museum countless times, but failed to see the smaller arts center hidden in the back.

I am not an overly talented artist by any means, but I am a prolific one. I spend huge chunks of my week creating things. I outdo my toddler in crayon drawings by the hundreds. I love art, plain and simple. Art is a way of living for me, and since other people who see life as an art form (or art as a life form) might also sign up for a ceramics class, I think this could be a very good thing.

I have long maintained that there is this very cool undercurrent of thinking in Mt. Vernon, but that it is simply buried under a dense bed of conservatism. I am determined to delve out those communities that feed on a creative living, and find those kindred spirits that are there, waiting for me.

And if I don't find it in a ceramics class, at least I will have gotten to play with clay.

Labor Day: Honoring Birth, Blessingways, Mother Blessings, Baby Showers, UU Circle of Blessing

In honor of Labor Day, I wanted to write about the Mother blessing we had for my friend Kelly at our Unitarian Universalist Fellowship a week or so ago. It was a truly beautiful evening, one in which I believe honored the upcoming birth, the mother, and the interconnectedness of the sisterhood of women, and of all humanity

We called this ceremony a “Circle of Blessing” and it served as our version of a Mother Blessing, a Blessingway, or a baby shower. The main idea of the evening was to spend some time reflecting on the upcoming birth, and honoring the mother of the soon to be born child, while simultaneously de-emphasizing the materialistic aspect of mainstream baby showers. The group of women that I planned this with spent a fair amount of time searching for ideas, and contemplating how best to achieve our goals. I had been carrying around a few ideas in my head, and so had the mother. The rest we found online or in books. The evening was, in the end, beautiful and wonderful, and we wanted to add our ideas to the internet search base here, so that others can benefit from it as well.

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The invitation read as follows:

Please join us Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 6:30 p.m.

to share together in a

“Circle of Blessing”

In Honor of Kelly and

The Upcoming Birth of Her New Baby


Kelly invites the women of the Mt. Vernon UU Fellowship to join her in blessing the arrival of her new baby, and we hope to bless her with our love and support as she anticipates the arrival of her second child.

Our “Circle of Blessing” for Kelly will incorporate ideas from a traditional Navajo Blessingway, which is a ceremony that celebrates and nourishes the woman spirit as she welcomes a new baby into our world.

Kelly feels as if she and Shawn are well prepared for their new arrival and are in no need of gifts for this event. You are invited to bring a flower to place in a centerpiece vase for Kelly, and/or another item from nature to honor Kelly and the beauty of childbirth.

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To prepare for the evening a group of us planned an order of service, conferred with Kelly for almost every detail, as we wanted to respect her wishes above all, selected music, and planned a general idea for a menu. We wanted the foods that we served to be as nourishing as possible. We also purchased small candles to be used during the ceremony.

We arrived at the fellowship about half an hour early to arrange the seating into a small circle around the chalice table, and set the food up in the dining area.

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The long version of the order of service went as follows:

A Circle of Blessing

© Welcome to the Circle: We are here to give Kelly our blessings as she prepares to give birth. We are here to uplift her, and encourage her in this path. We are here to hold her in a positive light, and to give her our strength. Let us surround her here in a loving embrace, focused on the health and well being of her and her baby. Let us share only stories of love and warmth, and of strength and perseverance. Let her feel blessed, calm, and encouraged when she leaves here tonight.

© Readings: “We are Sisters” and “In This Circle”

o “We are Sisters” by Co. Midwives Association c/o birthbeads.com
(to be read with each member of the circle alternating lines)

We are sisters on a journey,

Shining in the sun,

Shining through the darkest night.

The healing has begun, begun…

The healing has begun

We are sisters on a journey,

Singing now as one.

Remembering the Ancient Ones

The women and the wisdom…

The women and the wisdom.

o “In this Circle” from birthbeads.com, (to be read as a responsive reading)

In this circle No Fear

In this circle No Fear

In this circle Deep Peace

In this circle Deep Peace

In this circle Great Happiness

In this circle Great Happiness

In this circle Safety

In this circle Safety

© Honoring our Maternal Lineage: Please introduce yourself to the circle, speaking your name as the daughter of ___, who is the daughter of ___, and go back as far as you can. For example, “I am Tish, the daughter of Sara, who is the daughter of Laura, who is the daughter of …..” How far back can we remember the names of our mothers?

© Offerings and Gifts: If anyone has anything you would like to give to Kelly, you may present it to her now. [some of the gifts and offerings that were brought included small symbols of fertility, beads, crystals, stones, flowers from family gardens, pressed leaves, and a handmade necklace]

© Candle Lighting: Let our circle of women represent the circle of life. Pass the candles and cards around the circle until everyone has one, and continue passing the cards until they have all been taken. Kelly will light the chalice, and then pass the lighter to the right. When you receive the lighter, read your cards and light the candle. Place your candle near the chalice, and pass the lighter to the right. At the end of the night, take a candle home with you and relight it when you hear that Kelly has either gone into labor or given birth. Let the memory of tonight light this baby’s way into our world with love.

[the cards read lines such as these: We light the candle for birth. We light this candle for strength. We light this candle for peace. We light this candle for intuition. We light this candle for knowledge. We light this candle for safety. There were enough cards for everyone to read two cards.]

© Prayer Stick: As this stick passes around the circle, add your own piece of embroidery floss, along with your positive energy and blessings for Kelly and her baby. Let this prayer stick be a symbol of our love and support for Kelly as she brings life to this baby.

© Reading: “A Blessing for an Unborn Child” adapted from a prayer by Iyanla Vanzant.

Blessed and Merciful Spirit,

Thank you for the gift of this life.

Thank you for the life that grows inside of our friend.

Thank you for the love that is shaping and forming this child into divine perfection.

Thank you for shaping this child’s mind.

Thank you for shaping this child’s bones.

Thank you for shaping this child’s destiny

And for writing it upon this child’s heart.

Thank you for filling this child’s entire being with your loving light.

Thank you for knowing and calling this child’s name even as she is being formed.

Thank you for showing us how to love this child even before she is born.

Thank you for giving this mother a healthy appetite for those foods that are

life giving and life sustaining while this child grows inside of her.

Thank you for giving this mother peaceful rest while her child grows inside of her.

Thank you for keeping this mother from harm and danger while this child grows inside of her. Thank you for this mother’s peace of mind and calming thoughts

while this child grows inside of her.

Right now, let us give to you all of our concerns for the health, strength, and well being for this precious life growing inside of our friend and loved one.

Right now, we call forth grace , mercy, and loving light to fill this mother’s being

and sustain the life growing inside of her.

Prepare this mother and child for their birth. Prepare their minds. Prepare their bodies.

Bless this mother and this child that their birth will happen easily and effortlessly,

And under the grace of peace.

May this prayer be lifted, heard, and accepted into the highest realms of all that is good. For this we are grateful, and so it is.

© Extinguish Candle Flames

© Henna Belly Painting & Foot Massages: As Kelly gets her belly painted with henna, let us use this time for relaxing, sharing food and music, and telling positive and loving stories about life, womanhood, mothering, birth, or babies. Nina will provide foot massages during this time as well. Let’s not forget to make sure the mother has everything she needs as sits for her belly painting! [the woman who painted Kelly's belly also brought mandalas for the rest of us to color as well, which was a wonderful addition to the order!] Here is the link to some mandalas for you to use.}

© Sign the Blessing Book with a blessing, prayer, hope or wish for Kelly.

© Return to the Circle: Let us return to the circle once more before leaving.

© Wrist Binding: We will each wrap a piece of cord around our wrists, to connect us in spirit. If you wish, you can keep it on your wrist until you hear of the arrival of the new baby.

© Reading: “May The Circle Be Open” from Birthbeads.com (To be read in unison)

By the earth that is her body,

By the air that is her breath,

By the fire that is her bright spirit, and

By the water of her living womb…

May the circle be open, but unbroken

May the peace of the goddess be ever in your heart.

Merry meet…and Merry part…and Merry meet again.

© Extinguish the Chalice Flame & Remind People to Take Their Candles Home

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I hope that someone can use some of the ideas that were presented here! The only regret we had was perhaps not scheduling more time, as the belly painting did take a long time!

Happy Birthday To Me, and what are your favorite running songs?

1. Thank you to everyone who came to my party. I had a ton of fun and felt special and loved. Let's do that more often.
2. Thank you to everyone who couldn't come but sent birthday wishes other ways.
   
3. Thank you to my family for the great gift of the IPOD Shuffle.
4. What are your favorite running songs?