Elements of Spiritual Solace, an Embroidered Piece

I have always used art to meditate. It may be the only way I have, other than writing, to get into my own head and understand myself. If nothing else, it is the most effective way I have of doing so.

I started the above embroidery (which I so wish had scanned in as clear and vibrant as it is when I see it) about 5 or 6 years ago. It didn't take me that long to finish it, as I worked in short periods of time and then housed it in my supply closet for months at a time waiting for inspiration to strike. Finishing it last night was at once deeply emotional and rather anticlimactic at the same time.

It amazes me how with art, your creation can be so important while you are creating, but when it's done, it can just be cast aside as you move on to the next thing, the next need to understand something.

As the years passed by, I grew a greater understanding of this piece and what it would come to mean to me. It began with the three central figures in the center: a woman in meditation sitting on a path; behind and above her, a figure or being in proud warrior pose; above and behind her, a last figure elevated in a mountain or prayer pose. This last figure takes on a more spiritual or ghost like essence.

At times in my life yoga has been an instrumental part of my physical and spiritual well being, and certain poses have naturally taken on deeper psychological meanings than others. This piece comes full circle for me, as 5 years ago I was doing yoga quite regularly, and as I finish this work, I have again developed a more regular and consistent yoga practice.

The natural world in general is a part of my spiritual health and well being. The tree she sits not quite under but near holds leaves of each passing season. There is no doubt that trees radiate everything that is good, right, and peaceful. Behind the mature tree, off into the distance stands a small purple stick figure of a young oak sapling, shaped much like the one in my backyard.

Of course there are flowers of many colors, representing not just a love of gardens and wild flowers, but also a love of creation and physical work. The building of the soil, the labor of moving earth, and the careful placement of seedlings and bulbs to create an effect. It is a seasonal, religious, and spiritual practice I would be incomplete without.

The sunflowers represent this in a special way to me, as anyone who reads this blog knows.

The ground, the red brown soil, and the roots are represented, with the woman herself becoming rooted to her path with a system of red roots that entangle themselves with the roots of the flowers and trees.

Within the sun and the sky there are many images, some of which are probably lost to me now, but others which I will always find and remember. There are three eyes within the sky, each with a symbolic cross in the center. These eyes represent my mother, my grandmother, and my mother in law. Both my mother and my mother in law use the eye shape in their own artwork. My grandmother is a deeply religious woman who sees the cross as her symbol of faith. All three of these women are artists, and they have all three watched over me in many ways. I understand, that for me, attachment and respect for my ancestral women is an integral part of my growth and success, my sadness and pain, and my overall existence. In this piece, these eyes will continue to keep watch.

There are four words held within the sky. They are give, memory, grow, and forgive. These words represent the struggles of the last years, as I contemplate caring for my mother in law through her struggle with Alzheimer's and wonder what the future holds for myself, and those that I love. These words will guide me through this process, this experience, this love.

I am torn now on whether to hit publish, afraid to seal these words or finish this post, afraid that there are typos I did not catch, or thoughts I did not share or should not have. But, also- as much as I love this work- I am ready to be finished with it, ready to move on to something else, to find that next thing to capture my spirit.

Thanks for reading this, if indeed you have, and blessed be.

Xamon Song Contest Winners Announced: Everyone Wins!

Thank you to each of you for leaving a comment regarding Xamon Song and Human Rights work. Everyone who left a comment before this morning wins a free copy. Please email shipping information to sgreen1976@yahoo.com by the end of this week and we'll send you one.

Thanks to Adam for donating these copies and advancing the call for Human Rights for everyone!

P.S. In other news, the first day of preschool was a smashing success!

It's raining and pouring, but there's no time for snoring!

Today is Friday. Monday, my youngest and last to be born child will start preschool. I'll take him in, give him a kiss, and say goodbye. Who knows what will happen after that?

The thunder rolled in sometime around 4 this morning. It was a pleasant way to wake up, and the smell of rain is wafting through the house and my flowers are happy. The rain is giving no sign of letting up, and that is more than fine with me.

Now, the young boy is happily indulging in some Winnie the pooh action on the television. I am happily sitting here reading the news, plus checking my myspace page obsessively, and blogging to you about it all.

This is all fine and good, but I think that now is the time to unplug and reconnect with my kid. After all, they really do grow up so fast. Before I know it he'll be off at school. like- on Monday.

So, cheers to a day of rain and rainy day fun that doesn't involve electronic computing devices or email. I hope your day is just as nice, and I hope mine works out as planned!

(oh, and you can still try for a free copy of Xamon Song.

I won't go to the post until Monday, so there is still time to win!)

Xamon Song at top of Canadian suggested reading list! In other news, I am still swooning. (& win a free book)

A little over eight years ago, my now husband, then just interesting guy from local coffee shop, came to my place for the first time ever and he brought me two gifts: a nice pocket edition of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and that month's Amnesty International letter writing campaign. I swooned.

A few months later, he went out of town for two months to fulfill an Air National Guard commitment. While he was gone, I made an unrelated visit to an SIU Law School building, where he attended at the time, and saw the Amnesty International/ Human Rights bulletin board he had helped put together and I swooned again. I think I used the word giddy in my journal entry at the time and decided that yes- I was falling in love.

As things got more serious between us, as we shared our love of justice, our passion for learning, and our life ambitions, I learned more about him everyday. I learned that his favorite book was the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. I learned about alternatives to traditional law practices like mediation, and my knowledge and interest in International Affairs grew by miles. I learned that he was driven to make a real difference in the world and that his ultimate dream in life would be to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Well, actually he said, "I don't really care if I win the prize, I just want to do something in my life worthy of such a prize."

Again, I swooned. I swooned, and I wanted to come along for the ride.

Adam is a writer. He is an attorney by day, but a writer and an activist by heart. These are the dreams that lead him, and the morals and ethics that guide his days and his choices.

Our marriage isn't perfect, and sometimes it is hard to be married to a person with such lofty life ambitions, but I think it is worth it. I feel so fortunate to be a part of this journey with him, and wonder what the future will bring us. I certainly admire him, and am proud of his accomplishments. I have never met a person in my life who was so able to see and execute long term goals and has the plans to achieve them.

A few years ago Adam wrote the book Xamon Song. Xamon Song is a human rights novel. It is a novel about two men, two musicians, who join the military and learn a great deal about the world in which they serve. Xamon Song is "a view from the ground of the meeting of cultures, of the human costs of corporate malfeasance and governmental collusion."

The impetus for this long winded love letter? Xamon Song hasn't hit a best seller list or been picked up by a major publisher, but its sales have been slow and steady over the years. Its reviews have been good, and I personally think it is an important book. It has been taught in schools, and may soon even be taught at the college level at a well known university.

Over the last few months, sales have increased a bit and we were curious as to why. A quick google search led us to this Amnesty International Canada reading list and I just thought it was great. We don't know how long this list has been around, or if it has anything to do with the increase in sales, but I think it is sweet. In fact, it makes me swoon all over again.

If you would like a free copy of Xamon Song, I feel compelled to send you one. Tell me what you have done in your life to help achieve human rights for all people, (and this can be as simple as remembering to smile at someone who needs a smile!) and I will randomly pick one reply to send a free copy to.

I usually only get a few comments on my blog, but I know I have more readers than commenters. This is your chance to out yourself and win a free book! It's easy!

(you can also find Xamon Song on Myspace.
For more Xamon Song links, look to the right of my blog and scroll down a bit for a complete list)

5 Changes

1. I am the mother of a middle school aged child. It happened at 8:15 this morning.
2. I will be the mother of a preschooler one week from today.
3. I bought a bicycle on Saturday.
4. I had to change my blog profile from "1 husband, 4 kids. 1 mother in law. 2 dogs. 2 Hermit crabs. 1 degu." to "1 husband, 4 kids. 1 mother in law. 2 dogs. 1 degu." Rest in peace little crabs.
5. I have now had "the talk" with my eleven year old and rest assured he knows more about sex at 11 years old than I did at 15. Oy.

I think that is enough for one day, don't you agree?

Day Three: Lincoln Memorial Garden

So, here is it, a little after ten in the morning and I finally have the head space to get this last vacation blog uploaded. It is amazing what a little coffee, a bunch of grapes, and some good music can do to get you in the groove. My mom is here visiting and has my boys wrapped up in the world of colored pencils, so that helps the move along the process as well.


We spent the last day of our vacation primarily at Lincoln Memorial Garden, my most favorite childhood place of all. We had to stop for breakfast first of course, and we had to make that stop the Sunrise Cafe on Second Street.

My boy had been hoping to pick up the disgusting and exceedingly bad for you Springfield tradition of a horseshoe sandwich (toast topped with a hamburger, topped with french fries, topped with cheese sauce), but had to settle for the breakfast version of toast, sausage, hash browns, and gravy all piled on top of each other. It is a truly guilty pleasure if I ever heard of one. I admit it, I had one too, but I could only eat about a third of it and could barely eat anything for the rest of the day.

For the Lincoln Memorial garden part, I'll just say a little bit and then leave the rest of the talking to the pictures. Like I said, these gardens may be my most favorite place in the world, at least in relationship to my childhood.

My parents took me here all of the time while I was growing, and I grew to love these grounds, love these trees, love these trails, and love everything about the place. The Gardens are 100 acres of well maintained trails, easy to traverse, and safe and secluded enough to allow children to wander off alone at a bit of a younger age than other places. It is also home to many native Illinois flowers and butterflies, and a wonderfully quaint Nature Center perfect for young children to gain a better understanding of their connection to nature.

Many of the trails open up to a lake view, and the grounds are speckled with benches for resting every 100 feet or so. Each of these benches has a Lincoln quote engraved into its back, making for pleasant and gratifying resting places for those of us who may fall into the category of Lincoln fanatics.

So, here are the last of the vacation pictures. I hope you like butterflies, because I just cannot help myself around flowers and butterflies.

Day 2: Lincoln Sites & the Park

I must admit, after uploading these pictures from day two of our vacation, I am anxious to be done with the vacation blogging all together. Even still, I guess I do have a thing for summer time pictures , because I can't NOT post about it either.

Day 2 started out as most days do, with a trip to get some breakfast and coffee. Vacationing anywhere with a two year old will wear just about anyone out- big brother included. By the time we hit the breakfast joint, I think we were all a little annoyed with little brothers wild side, and maybe our expectations were a little off as well.

We tried to take the little man on a Lincoln Law Office tour first thing, but he just couldn't handle it, so he and I went outside for some picture posing in the downtown Lincoln Complex area. This proved to be much more fun for everyone involved.

I have such a soft spot in my heart for Abraham Lincoln history, so soaking all of the Lincoln-ness in was easy for me. I even confess to skipping school in junior high on a fairly regular basis to go downtown and do all of the Lincoln tourist stuff. I have toured Lincoln's home probably a hundred times in my life, and remember just sitting by myself on the steps of the Old State Capital just wondering about everything, trying to figure out what all this history was about. I really believe I learned more on those days out of school than i did when I was in school.

One of my favorite parts of the trip was taking the Capital Building tour with my eleven year old, while the 2 year old and his dad went back to the hotel for a nap. The Capital Building is a beautiful piece of architecture and I was happy to see how much by son appreciated it. He has a strong interest in politics and asks such great questions on tours. I really love sharing things like this with him.

After spending the day downtown, we simply enjoyed an afternoon and evening at Washington Park, a nice park by any standards. We ran races in a rose garden, listened to the carillon bells, hiked the small trails, followed ducks, played on the equipment and generally wore ourselves out before a nice dinner with friends.

Getting away for a family weekend out was just right. I'll try and get some pictures up from day three soon, at Lincoln Memorial Gardens (my favorite place of all) and then maybe I can get back to the business of blogging. Believe it or not, I actually have some things I'd like to talk about.

Back from Vacation: A Travel Diary of a Trip Back Home to Springfield, IL

We just spent the weekend as tourists in my home town. My parents don't live there anymore, and we didn't call any of my school friends.

We just went and took in the sites as tourists, and waves of nostalgia rushed over me just about everywhere we went. I finally felt affectionate about the town I said I would never live in again.

Day 1: The Illinois State Fair. I'd say it was a pretty typical fair experience, complete with disgusting food, expensive rides, and free buttons, posters, stickers, and lots of junk to bring home. Of course, the cow carved from butter is always impressive, and I suppose I should have taken a picture of the 11 year old boy eating a deep fried snickers bar on a stick, but it was pretty gross looking. I spared us all from that one.

I did get this shot of the little guy on the car ride. I think his face here says it all. He was so happy, it almost made me cry to think he was big enough to ride rides all by himself. (Did I mention he starts preschool in a couple of weeks??)

We had to finish the fair day with a last ride on the sky ride. When I was a little girl, my dad usually worked a booth at the fair, so I went almost every day, every year, and the sky ride was always my favorite part. It is a very relaxing way to take it all in one last time as you glide over the whole fair, trying to not to drop your camera or your flip flops.

After leaving the fair, we checked into the well known downtown establishment the flashlight hotel. It has a real name, but as a little girl it was the flashlight hotel. That is what my kids are calling it now too.

We took a late night out to a place called Cafe Brio where the grown ups could get drinks and the kids could get tapas, and everyone got a little nutty, and mama found herself stumbling drunk after less than two glasses of wine. Booths way back in the back of busy restaurants on a Friday night are a blessing to parents everywhere, as Desi decided a night on the town was the best place around for shakin bootie.

Pictures from days 2 & 3 will be soon to follow.

For now, it's good to be back in town, but now we must head off to our beloved city park with friends, a stop at the farmer's market, and school supply shopping for all.

It really is home sweet home.

losing track of my sunflowers

. . . and the exciting part is that I have more sunflowers ready to bloom any day now.

Anyone sick of me posting flower pictures yet? I promise this is still a writing blog! A girl just can't help herself in the face of such beauty.

some non-sunflower photos of my garden. ok, just one sunflower.

new friends, old friends, and naked ladies

I went by a friend's house on Sunday, and then again last night. We weeded her garden, we walked, we talked, we whispered, we laughed, we rode bikes, and we almost even cried (well, okay- that was me, but I cry at anything).

It is good to have a friend, and I am so grateful for her. We met not much more than a year ago, but she feels like an old soul friend, and I grow to love her more everyday. I feel like I sought her out- like I knew she was going to be there. I posted last year about Creating Space for Kindred Community. I took that ceramics class, I knew she was the teacher, and I knew she seemed very real, and our friendship blossomed on Tuesday nights.

It all just reminds me how to be grateful for each of my friends. They all give me such varied perspectives on life. They are all reference points and living examples of how people live their lives in their own ways; how people make different choices, get different results, and hold on to that capacity to love unconditionally and see each other through it all.

Each of us is our own person, yet we are so different; we are so much the same. I know it is an annoying and cliche thing to say- but damn, friends really are like flowers in a garden - each so different and beautiful, blooming at all different times and in all different ways, needing all different conditions to thrive.

Some of my friends have been around forever, some only since moving to this town. Some I have many things in common with, can tell anything to, and some friends are just right for what they are right for. One of my best friends even votes republican. It must be true love between us, otherwise I don't think I could stand it. Republican or not- there are things I can only go to her for, there are things only she seems to really understand about me.

But I digress, that is an old friend, and this post is about my new friend and the naked ladies in her garden.



She has Rose of Sharons too (at least, I think that is what they are, please tell me if you know differently). Beautiful.